In the Family

Sawaki Roshi: Too often, the home is nothing more than a place where husband and wife, parents and children, spoil one another and bind each other up in fatal ties.

Uchiyama Roshi: I don't think I'm qualified to give advice to other people, but this world is a strange place. I say that because there are many people who come to me for advice about their familt problems. They open their hearts to me and tell me about their home lives, sometimes travelling a great distance only for that purpose. Since this is a temple, they feel safe here, thinking that what they say will not leak out to others. I have been listening to them one by one for a number of years, frequently hearing the same story. People often get married only out of mutual sexual attraction. Although they reach fifty and their sexual passion diminishes, they treat each other like strangers or even hate each other and share a disordered house. They want to divorce, but cannot, because of the opinions of others, or their children, or their economic situation.

Consider the relationship between parents and children. No matter how much they hate each other, they are "similar figures" and when the corners of similar figures come into contact, there can be trouble: passionate mother and passionate daughter, stubborn father and stubborn son, greedy parent couple and greedy young couple, unfeeling parents and unfeeling children. It would be good if they could realize they have horns pointing in the same direction and sympathize with one another. If they continually butt one another, its just endless trouble. In order to create a home that is truly a place of rest, consideration, and love, we should respect each other's feelings and opinions, reflect upon oursleves, and make an effort to live in harmony with others.